How many times has fear held us up? How many opportunities did we miss just because we were too afraid to try? It is time to overcome that and start living life.
Everything you could possibly want out of life is on the other side of fear. I want to qualify that statement. We are not aware of what is going on in the world. There’s a lot going on. This is not to propagate ignorance. In the Middle East, there’s always going to be conflict. There’s been for a long time. There are things going on in government that are sad but that have been the case for a long time. We don’t have control over monetary policy, fiscal policy, COVID. We don’t have control over policy. We don’t have control over whether there’s quarantine or not.
There are so many things that we think there’s a solution of control and influence and we get all worked up about it. People in general choose to focus on the things that they can’t control. The qualifier is everything that we could possibly want out of life is on the other side of the fear that we have control and influence over.
In all aspects of life, there’s a gap between where we are now and where we want to be; a gap laced, typically with some degree of fear; Fear of failure, success, pain, of what others will think of you if you succeed, of what others will think of you if you fail and of what success or failure will mean to yourself image when you believe about yourself. The irony is that when we toe the line with this fear, there’s another fear that fills in the gap that takes its place. It’s a never-ending loop, an infinite loop. There are ways in which we can strategically push these thresholds. If we don’t, we are always going to come up against these thresholds because if you think about it, part of us tries to avoid fear and pain and rightfully so, at the same time, because life commands and demands growth. It will put things in our place over and over again, challenge, friction, pain, and problems so that we grow. Looking at what we can do to strategically position circumstances, experiences that will allow us to push those limits and thresholds, it could minimize or mitigate some of the challenges that often surprise us.
What are the lessons you can gain from this? First off, again, nature is commanding growth in your life, your relationships, your finances, professionally, every area of your life. Physically, nature is compelling you to grow. Most people push off those signs. They don’t listen. They think that there’s an easier way, a shortcut and ultimately, what happens is a stronger experience then another strong experience. They keep stacking up until there’s a massive failure in pain. That’s when we decide to say, “This is a lesson. I need to make some changes. This is what I need to do.”
It helps you understand and share with and communicate with people at a deeper level. You either can gain perspective that you may not have had or their intention may be what you assumed and you know early on so you don’t have to prolong the inevitable, which will be even more painful if you continue to wait. When you feel something, see something that is irritating, that is frustrating, that borderline is like, “This is not right,” approach it head-on. Share what you are feeling. Share what your perspective is. In most circumstances, you are not seeing things the same way as this other person.
If the intention is what you assumed it was, then escalate and say, “This is what I’m going to do next because this is how I feel. I don’t want it to go on any longer.” It points to a very quick conclusion that if a person does not want to essentially align with whatever the perspective and situation is, then there is a clear exit and it happens quickly. It’s so simple, but it’s been incredible.
A second lesson, which is strategically designing a threshold by breaking through thresholds, is you can strategically stretch yourself by pushing your own limits and learning to love challenges, friction, and conflict because you know that you can thrive because of being able to face it. Your psychological muscles continue to grow.
Your income, your wealth, what you can manage, whether it’s people or money, is correlated with this ability to handle conflict, friction, and challenge. There are some invaluable lessons that you’ll receive in this. Self-respect and self-competence are scraping the surface. Plus, being able to strategically position yourself in these areas will also allows you to grow at a much quicker pace.
Patrick Donohoe highlights from The Wealth Standard podcast
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